Use in a sentence; Community College is a total nomotion when you can't flipping drive and still live with the parentals.
*le sigh*
School's still fine.
As in the most basic meaning of the word, it's like all together the experience and stress is like a car crash, and I'm playing down all of the crap and saying "I'm fine" so I don't get driven to the hospital.
School itself is alright, my grades are stellar, straight A's. But the stress is masacring my mind.
I ended up self injurnig twice before my first speech in my effective speaking class. Once in the morning of, and then again just minutes before the actual speech. I was sitting in the back of the class and I just rolled up my sleeve and dragged an exacto blade over my arm.
I knew it was a negative coping skill, and I felt pretty crappy about it later, but in the moment it did what I needed it to. The fact that I got an A on the speech made it a lot harder to think I should stop. But I am.
The day after the speech I saw MANBEARPIG the therapist and totally b.s.'d her. Then on Tuesday I saw Dr. B. the psychatrist and told her everything.
We ended up coming up with a plan so I'm seeing MANBEARPIG on Thursday and I'm going to try and get over my dislike of her (and therapist in general) enough to tell her the truth and work on shit.
I figure it can't hurt much, and if it doesn't work after a few appointments I can always try to find someone I feel comfortable with.
Oh well.
I guess this could be considered day day 4 of being honest.
Wish me luck on making it till thursday with that whole honesty thing.
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